Festival of Trees

This is what my sisters, sisters-in-laws, and I have been working on for the last six months. (Thanks to Peter for these artistic shots.) We decorated this tree as a tribute to our mom. It was for a fundraiser for Primary Children's Hospital, called the Festival of Trees. We were able to raise literally thousands of dollars when our tree sold at the auction Tuesday night. I have to brag because I'm so proud of us, but our tree was one of the Top 5 Premiere Trees of the hundreds of trees decorated. Meaning, it was chosen by the organizers to be photographed by media, and to have a special host near the tree to make sure it sold for maximum dollar. Here is a copy of the "story" of our tree:

A loving mother can provide many lasting gifts to her children. One of the gifts that our beloved mother passed on to her seven children is a love of music and the arts. So in deciding upon a theme for our tree, we knew it had to reflect those loves.

Many of us have had some of our most spiritual experiences sitting behind the familiar keys of the piano playing at and attending church meetings. Others are grateful for the tranquility and peace that music provides in their chaotic lives. By our mother's example, we learned sacrifice as she lived without many of the luxuries of life so that we could pursue piano, violin, guitar, choir and dance. We learned discipline while practicing daily and are grateful for those life lessons learned so early. We hope that her legacy lives on through us, as we pass these loves on to our own children.

Even in the final days of her earthly life, while she battled cancer, she found peace in her love of music and expressed her desire to sing in the choirs of angels.

We hope this tree will be an inspiration to others to find joy and peace in the gift of music.

In gratitude to our beloved mother, Toni Lee Eskelson Larson, 1944-2006.

Monday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, we worked on decorating the tree. Thanks to Catherine's husband, Steve, who helped with most of the heaving lifting and annoying jobs. Us girls got to work on making it look perfect.

It was so much fun getting to work on this project, especially with such amazing women. I know my mom would have loved this tree! It was just like her--elegant, classy, and beautiful. If you happen to be visiting The Festival of Trees this week, look for our tree on aisle E. This was the first time we ventured into this process, and I would definitely do it again.

This is a good one...

This was just a great movie. Not too deep, not too silly. Two thumbs up (mine and Alec's).

One Year Later

So it has been one year since my sweet mother passed away. One year later I am still grappling with how to live without her. One year later I can still imagine her voice, and picture her laughing. One year later I miss her like one year has never passed.

I can't believe that one year ago I sat holding my mother's hand as she departed this life. I still remember calling to her, as if she were leaving the room, telling her one last time that we love her and that we know she loves us. After days of labored, heavy, intense gasping for breath, she took her last breaths. And those final few breaths were not struggles, they were peaceful and light. She was relieved of all her pain. On to a better place. A place where I know I will see her again.

Each and everyday of the last 365 I have thought of her. Many days I mourn for the loss of things that will never be. I mourn the fact that I can't call her on the phone and tell her about life's little events. I mourn that I can't sit around and sum up life's great events--births, baby blessings, weddings. I mourn that she will not see my children grow up. I mourn that they will not know or remember this tremendously influential person in my life. I mourn that she will not be here to help plan Abigail's wedding or send my sons on missions. I mourn that I will not hear her voice or feel her warm embrace again in this life.

I do, however, find peace and hope in my faith, in my knowledge of eternal families. It just has to be true. If it's not, I can't handle it. But, I know deep down that it is true. The Lord has shown me that he knows me and my needs. He knew that I would need a new precious life this year to keep me in a routine, and enjoying the miracle of life. He knew that I would need a loving and supportive husband. He knew I would need happy memories, like a trip to Hawaii and a recent stint of living in my mother's home with my family. He knew that I would rely on family, in particular my siblings, who understand me and understand what I am going through.

It's difficult to keep going some days. But I want to live a life that is a fitting tribute to my mother. She raised me well, and I don't want to disappoint. She wouldn't want anyone to be sad. She was amazing. All through her illness she was so peaceful. I would leave having visited with her a better, more peaceful person. She had such grace, dignity, compassion, empathy, class, humor, understanding, patience, and love. No one can replace a mother. No one can replace my mother. She was and is so incredibly important to me. I hope that I can translate this pain of losing my mother into things that are great and wonderful. She would want us all to find the joy that this life can provide.

I miss you, Mom!

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Let's all go to the movies...

Every once in awhile, in the middle of a workday, the company that Alec works for has an outing to the new movie theater by his office. Today, the kids and I got to tag along! We saw Bee Movie, which was so fun and entertaining. The whole family loved it. I highly recommend it.

Plus it's always fun to take little kids to the movies. They get so into it! Abigail was giggling and Owen was covering his eyes on "too scary" parts--even though there were really no scary parts. That's the point. They get totally into the whole experience, rooting for the underdog (or in this case, the underbee), flinching at every misstep, and cheering at every victory.

Free Food!!

Yesterday Alec surprised me by coming home early!! And since I haven't done a full grocery run for, oh....2 weeks, and I was really sick of being in the house with the kids all day, he took us all out to eat. We went to a Mexican restaurant that we had heard good things about. The food was yummy, and it was nice to be out. But the best part happened at the end of our meal.

About the time the waitress would come give us our check, she came over and said, "Your meals have been taken care of, so you're good to go. They asked that I keep it anonymous."

Huh?! Some random stranger paid for our entire family's dinner?! I was kind of self-conscious afterwards because I didn't know who it was, and if they were watching us, and if we had reacted appropriately. It was AWESOME though! When I grow up I am definitely going to take pity on some little stranger family like mine, and anonymously pay for their dinner. How cool is that!

Walker Weekend

Nate with Grammy (Alec's mom)

The whole Nancy and Mark Walker Clan

This past weekend we had the enjoyment of having Alec's entire family in Utah for the weekend. Unfortunately it was not under the most ideal of circumstances. Alec's paternal grandfather passed away and his funeral was over the weekend. Although it was not necessarily a joyous reason for everyone to come together, I'm sure that Grandpa Walker enjoyed seeing all of his posterity join together to celebrate his life.

Happy Halloween!!

We've had several Halloween activities this year.

Starting way back on the 17th, Abigail's school had a carnival to raise money for the 6th grade play. They sold tickets and had all sorts of games and fun. Owen was a dog that night.

Next we had Alec's work Halloween party. This is the big event of the year for the company, so they go all out. You can't see in this picture but they had lots of inflatables for the kids, face painting, etc. Owen was a tiger this night.

A Halloween/Birthday party at my parent's home...

I had to throw this one in of Mary's oldest daughter, Cecilia. Mary still practices her sewing skills gained in our youth. She made this--how cute! I'm inspired to make mine next year. But we'll see how that goes.

Our first elementary school parade....

And finally, trunk-or-treating last night and trick-or-treating tonight!

(I know this looks like the same picture over and over again, but it's hard to pick just one. I also realize now that we don't have a picture of the baby! Poor little pumpkin. I'll have to see if I can remedy that.)