More pictures with Santa

These pictures are from our ward Christmas party a week or so ago. It was crazy with so many kids and parent paparazzi swarming Santa. I was lucky to get a shot of my kids! Abigail would want you to notice that her outfit blended with Santa's perfectly--she thought that was so cool!

Abigail stuck with her request for a Barbie--I think Santa will deliver. But Owen requested a BYU Cougar, and has mentioned it a couple of times since then. I think Santa thought he would forget about that particular request, and didn't do anything about it. Not that I'm in favor of getting kids everything they ask for for Christmas. But, it seems a shame not to fulfill a consistent request that is relatively simple. I hope we don't have a repeat of the year when Abigail was about 2, and the only thing she wanted for Christmas was M & M's. Santa was such a dud he didn't even fulfill that request. Luckily we had Uncle Peter to the rescue when she was nearly brought to tears.

What a difference a skirt makes!

For the last few weeks Abigail has been in denial about her ballet/tap class. When people ask her if she takes a dance class she flat out denies it. But, ever since she got a ballet skirt, things have changed. Who knew my trip to Walmart to pick up a long sleeve leotard would turn her world around?

'Tis the Season

This pretty much sums up the last few days....

lots of drugs....


lots of eye boogers....

lots of laying around....

lots of T.V....

but I think we are finally coming out of the woods today.

Festival of Trees, Part 2

I took the kids to the Festival of Trees yesterday to show them what I have been so busy doing. (Don't the boys look excited?)

While there they had a chance to sit on Santa's lap!

Owen was soooo excited to see Santa. I didn't get a picture of it, but he was jumping up and down with full body emotion when it was his turn next.

Thinking, thinking....

Barbies!

Festival of Trees

This is what my sisters, sisters-in-laws, and I have been working on for the last six months. (Thanks to Peter for these artistic shots.) We decorated this tree as a tribute to our mom. It was for a fundraiser for Primary Children's Hospital, called the Festival of Trees. We were able to raise literally thousands of dollars when our tree sold at the auction Tuesday night. I have to brag because I'm so proud of us, but our tree was one of the Top 5 Premiere Trees of the hundreds of trees decorated. Meaning, it was chosen by the organizers to be photographed by media, and to have a special host near the tree to make sure it sold for maximum dollar. Here is a copy of the "story" of our tree:

A loving mother can provide many lasting gifts to her children. One of the gifts that our beloved mother passed on to her seven children is a love of music and the arts. So in deciding upon a theme for our tree, we knew it had to reflect those loves.

Many of us have had some of our most spiritual experiences sitting behind the familiar keys of the piano playing at and attending church meetings. Others are grateful for the tranquility and peace that music provides in their chaotic lives. By our mother's example, we learned sacrifice as she lived without many of the luxuries of life so that we could pursue piano, violin, guitar, choir and dance. We learned discipline while practicing daily and are grateful for those life lessons learned so early. We hope that her legacy lives on through us, as we pass these loves on to our own children.

Even in the final days of her earthly life, while she battled cancer, she found peace in her love of music and expressed her desire to sing in the choirs of angels.

We hope this tree will be an inspiration to others to find joy and peace in the gift of music.

In gratitude to our beloved mother, Toni Lee Eskelson Larson, 1944-2006.

Monday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, we worked on decorating the tree. Thanks to Catherine's husband, Steve, who helped with most of the heaving lifting and annoying jobs. Us girls got to work on making it look perfect.

It was so much fun getting to work on this project, especially with such amazing women. I know my mom would have loved this tree! It was just like her--elegant, classy, and beautiful. If you happen to be visiting The Festival of Trees this week, look for our tree on aisle E. This was the first time we ventured into this process, and I would definitely do it again.

This is a good one...

This was just a great movie. Not too deep, not too silly. Two thumbs up (mine and Alec's).

One Year Later

So it has been one year since my sweet mother passed away. One year later I am still grappling with how to live without her. One year later I can still imagine her voice, and picture her laughing. One year later I miss her like one year has never passed.

I can't believe that one year ago I sat holding my mother's hand as she departed this life. I still remember calling to her, as if she were leaving the room, telling her one last time that we love her and that we know she loves us. After days of labored, heavy, intense gasping for breath, she took her last breaths. And those final few breaths were not struggles, they were peaceful and light. She was relieved of all her pain. On to a better place. A place where I know I will see her again.

Each and everyday of the last 365 I have thought of her. Many days I mourn for the loss of things that will never be. I mourn the fact that I can't call her on the phone and tell her about life's little events. I mourn that I can't sit around and sum up life's great events--births, baby blessings, weddings. I mourn that she will not see my children grow up. I mourn that they will not know or remember this tremendously influential person in my life. I mourn that she will not be here to help plan Abigail's wedding or send my sons on missions. I mourn that I will not hear her voice or feel her warm embrace again in this life.

I do, however, find peace and hope in my faith, in my knowledge of eternal families. It just has to be true. If it's not, I can't handle it. But, I know deep down that it is true. The Lord has shown me that he knows me and my needs. He knew that I would need a new precious life this year to keep me in a routine, and enjoying the miracle of life. He knew that I would need a loving and supportive husband. He knew I would need happy memories, like a trip to Hawaii and a recent stint of living in my mother's home with my family. He knew that I would rely on family, in particular my siblings, who understand me and understand what I am going through.

It's difficult to keep going some days. But I want to live a life that is a fitting tribute to my mother. She raised me well, and I don't want to disappoint. She wouldn't want anyone to be sad. She was amazing. All through her illness she was so peaceful. I would leave having visited with her a better, more peaceful person. She had such grace, dignity, compassion, empathy, class, humor, understanding, patience, and love. No one can replace a mother. No one can replace my mother. She was and is so incredibly important to me. I hope that I can translate this pain of losing my mother into things that are great and wonderful. She would want us all to find the joy that this life can provide.

I miss you, Mom!

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